Sunday, November 30, 2008
SHE LEFT BILL IN DRYCOCK
Muthafudge. Yep, that's what I said. Where, oh where, was the money shot of Bill's ass? Sookie, girlfriend, we left you in charge and you dropped the ball. Actually, I don't think you ever had either ball in your hand to drop. So I'll say it again. Muthafudge.
Sookie, I know your face was all bruised and concussed up and all, but damn! Look what he had to go through in an attempt to save you. The worst, and I mean worst, sunburn evah! Bill, sweetie, I'm afraid we can ALL smell the sunlight on your skin. Sookie, if Bill's willing to go out in the sun and wind up looking like a Kingsford charcol brickette, the least you could have done was to kick it old school and show him how much you appreciated his sacrifice. For instance
1) get down, and I mean waaayyy down, on his johnson
2) throw him down on the stairs and fuck him like Helen of Troy with her ass on fire.
3) both of the above
Now I'm not implying that the tender kissyface scene wasn't sweet and just made me fall in love even more with Mr. Hotstuff. But damn, we need something to tide us over for the next 6 months. Some ass! Some fuckin'!
Movin' on. Sookie, I do declare. Where in the HELL are you getting all those Easter egg colored Keds. Hell, even my 82 year old mother stopped wearing them a while back cause they were just too damn ugly. What, do you still have a thing for Dirty Dancing? Or did you mama leave them to you in her will? Let's see, Jason gets the house and property and you get a lifetime supply of Nobody Puts Baby In A Corner pastel Keds. And who says life ain't fair!
And our Bill plays the piano! What that man can't do with those fingers, well, just doesn't need to be done. Yeah! Play that funky music white boy! I don't know about y'all, but I got a very definate Phantom Of The Opera feel with that piano playing. And that delicious smile of anticipation on his mug when the door opened! Much like I have when the pizza guy gets here. And then to realize who was actually at his door. Gee, if I remember, the last time those two came to call life suddenly took a turn for the worse. And guess what! It's about to happen again. Eric, it's a damn shame all of us don't have friends like you. You make getting hit by a bus an absolute thrill. And I do appreciate you dropping Britney Spears off at her daddy's house too. Bill, just a word to the wise. If she starts wearing a pink wig and speaking with a British accent, then I would suggest that you drop her AND Sookie off with Eric as you haul ass outta Dodge.
Eric and Bill. Those two. What are we gonna do with them? I'll see your two fangs and a hiss and I'll raise you two fangs and a hiss. Pam, I with ya there. I'm sure if you'd had a ruler handy you would have just told them to unzip, haul it out and let's get this over with. Men! Sheesh.........
I've got more to discuss later. There's just so much swirling in my head about this episode and I haven't had a chance to watch it again. Which is a good thing, or else this would turn into the mother of all long-assed posts.