Believe me now?

Sunday, November 30, 2008


Wow kids! Just in time for Christmas, Fangtasia Merchandising has released it's brand new Vampire Bill Compton action figure! See his fangs retract! See his dick spring into action! Watch as his pelvis thrust left and right! *Requires 4 AAA batteries, not included.*

Yes, be the first girl on your block to own this fun action figure! It will provide many, many, many, many, many,many, MANY hours of entertainment. Anatomically correct Vampire Bill come fully outfitted in his Confederate Grey uniform, along with water canteen and four-prong cast iron bread toaster. Rub his neck with a special wand and watch as human Bill's tan complexion becomes a whiter shade of pale as his bite marks appear like magic!

Vampire Bill also come with a complete Mainstream Bill outfit, including a 4 pack of TruBlood, six-pack of Frescas (for guests), white hendley shirt and black chinos. You'll really marvel at the real life feel of his brown leather boots! Also included are 3 packets of graveyard dirt. Just rub Vampire Bill with a packet of graveyard dirt and watch as, like magic, his fangs click into place with realistic sound and his dick become fully erect! Spin his arm around and watch as his pelvis thrust left and right in realistic motion! Activate the voice control on the back of Vampire Bill and listen to him say:

" Do you have any of that synthetic bottled blood?"

"Sookah is mine!"

"We vampires are always in some kind of trouble"

"I can smell the sunlight on your skin"

"I have Frescas"

" What are you"

"I fed"

"I'm mainstreaming"

"We're all kept alive by magic"

Hurry and get yours as supplies are limited!

Additional accessories can be ordered online at

*Price list as follows:

Tribunal Brown leather jacket $12.95

Blue pinstripe shirt and fang shaped cufflinks $9.95

3-pack graveyard dirt $6.95

Blood red velvet divan $14.95

Battery controlled BMW 3 Series $39.95

*Coming soon - Eric Northman, Sheriff of Area 5 Action Figure


Shadaliza said...

Oh my stars! I want one for christmas, I have been good Santa!

Will there also be a white Henley available?

Is he washable?

ABNegative said...

Actually, I might change that to a white henley. The boys DOES look hotter in that white one.

I wonder how many people try to log on to