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Saturday, March 14, 2009


"If you only knew what I had done to return to you."

I still cannot believe that anyone who sports girlie parts let that statement go right on by them. It just blows my mind. It's actually an afront to hoo haw owners everywhere. Sookie, were you NOT LISTENING? I realize that you were all riled up because your oh-so fine vampire boyfriend caught you macking it up with the person he had personally asked to look out for you. And it was an awesome throw down if I do say so myself. But seriously Sookie, WTF? You didn't hear that sentence, or did you just decide it wasn't worth exploring further? Again, WTF?

Let's see here, he's been gone for what, three days? He hasn't called, he hasn't texted (cause we know how he hates to use the number keys to type) and he hasn't even bothered to come rescue you from yet another purt-near strangling. I can see how you could be a bit pissed off at him, but really now? You're not even the least bit curious about what that statement meant? If it had been me, I would have stopped right in the middle of my rant 'n' roll and wasted no time in peeling the skin from his dick over that statement. I'd be like "you had to do what? No, don't ass-drag about it, you said if I only knew. So let's have it. Only knew what? Let me guess, it involved a vagina, no doubt. Well, what are you waiting for big boy? Let's hear page 33, paragraph 2 of the official Lyin' Sack Of Shit Playbook that all of you mofo's seem to own. What? Cat got your tongue?"

But what did you do? You let that one sail right over your it's-all-about-Sookie's head while you stomped on his sad, abused heart as you threw him out, then to prove to him and anyone who gave a shit that you meant bidness, you slammed the door hard enough to crack the ozone. And never mentioned it again.

Like I said Sookie, you jes' ain't right.


bluesky43 said...

I've just started reading your blog and it is laugh out loud funny. I loved the entry about those damn electricians leading to the wal-mart hair dryer and ruining our boy's hair. It made my day!

ABNegative said...

well thanks bluesky43! I'm glad you are enjoying the blog. Yeah, I am still grieving over the loss of that bad boy hairdo that disappeared in Sookie's backyard suddenly in episode 3. What? Did they think we didn't notice?

Très Emily said...

Love your blog! So entertaining and very funny!

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